What Being Discarded by a Fearful Avoidant Taught me about my Fixer Saviour Complex
In 2025, Ryan Minti came to Dufton Enterprises for help publishing his book, In the Wake of Her - a tale of love and loss and a man's journey to escape the clutches of fixer syndrome which dominates his daily life, especially in the context of recent confusing break ups.
Ryan's case was featured on an episode of Ken Reid the Australian psychotherapist's Ken Reads Podcast:
The true story of 36 year old Londoner Ryan describes how after being ghosted by his beloved burlesque dancing partner Maya, he entered a prolonged period of depression and confusion. Medication, vacationing, new hobbies, new business ventures, dating his adorable new partner Bea... they all helped in their own way but the best cure for his emotional trauma wounds might be in the writing of the part memoir, part psychoanalytical tome for those interested in non-monogamy, BPD, attachment theory, and fixer syndrome.
As well as featuring some creative writing, In the Wake of Her, contains a revolutionary framework for SSCPT, a new type of therapy that provides patients with clarity and validation to minimise their doubts and rumination about past events. This publication became the genesis of Dufton Enterprise's therapy consultation clinic, SARJ.
In a novelisation of the next 6 months following Minti's world-shattering discard by Maya, he re-enters the dating marketplace, having always been in the sexual marketplace, where he began to look at people with whom he was thus far only platonic or physical in a different light. Even Eolanda, his ex, is a viable option. Amber too has blocked him. And Maya's friends are dropping off Ryan's radar in his panicked fight to keep her hypnotic light in his life.
Ryan's adventures are punctuated by searching conversations with his therapist, James, in which he recounts the play by play of all the wonderful and terrible memories that still seem like only yesterday. His suffering accelerates many huge life changes including eye surgery, motorbiking, joining the army, starting 2 businesses, and traveling to India, the crucible of Maya, that he might sympathise with her origin story.
In a surprising turn of events, Ryan's therapist highlights the descriptions of childhood, obsessive interests, limerence within relationships, compulsive behaviours, ruminative ruts without relationships, hyper rationality, hyper empathy, formularisation of social etiquette, and high iQ. The diagnosis is Autism.
Ryan must contend with this new label and fit it into his model of self and be aware of its strengths and weaknesses as he manages work, romances, friendships, and the various pursuits that now fill his week.
He continues to work with his therapist on escaping the mental pit that he has been left in. He comes close to confronting Maya's colleagues, therapist and family as he sees all the relationship safety nets fail to engage.
Ryan is supported in his journey by the love of an Indian born adopted Italian girl, Bea, whose warm heart, affirming spirit, quiet comforting nature, and consistent words of validation keep him grounded and happy, even if he struggles daily if artifacts of the trauma of the blindsiding ghosting of who he thought was his soulmate. It's love, but not as he's known it for quite some time.
6 months after the disappearance, when Maya instructs organisers to remove Ryan from the guestlist of one of their shows, Ryan's image of her starts to shift. Maya character-assassinates Ryan to his best friend Priya during a chance encounter which develops his image of her as at once broken and delusional. He emails her with all the words he's been wanting to say. She replies to him an all caps rant of unhinged allegations, Ryan is finally freed from the bonds of his incessant thought spirals and learns to live without the obsession of a girl who doesn't exist and maybe never did, but also to live with the deep wounds that this ghost of a woman caused.
Follow Ryan's escapades in the kink and sex-pos scene in modern London, and learn to love again with this dramatic retelling of the life In the Wake of Her...
Coming March 2026
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